Hi everyone. I’m Kristy with the vibrant entrepreneur podcast and I have an interesting setup. This is my first time doing a video this way. So I’m recording a podcast. That’s why I have this on. And I’m also going to share and be able to point a little bit but also allow the podcast listeners to still follow along.
So we talked about last time the Lean Startup methodology that came out a few years ago and it’s about testing a hypothesis about what you believe the product people want is, and then going out hearing their feedback, seeing if they’ll actually put money where their mouth is about if they want something, testing it, getting data, and then reiterating the process. One of the big issues with the lean startup that I encountered because I tried to actually use this system years ago, about a year before I started Alana Life & Fitness, and I realized that it was a slow process. I was doing it by myself. It took a while. I face a lot of rejection.
So what does this all add up to? It adds up to depression. I was on the floor, let’s just put it this way. I was on, I literally on like, like I couldn’t be any closer to the floor and I would call like the T-Mobile person to get something fixed–not for the fun of it, but they’d be like, “hello, T-Mobile”. And I’m like, “hi. Hi. I’m, I’m, I’m Kristy. So nice to meet you. You’re so nice. Did anyone tell you how nice you are?”
It was, it was, it was a low point for me. And the thing is, is my goal is to make you an entrepreneur. The fact is we need more entrepreneurs in the world because entrepreneurs are leaders. They’re risk takers. There are people who are going to go above and beyond to make this world and this economy better.
So my point is, is that it sucks. It sucks shit to be lonely and it sucks to not feel energetic.
So I want to share with you a really important formula that I came up with that kind of explains, in my opinion, how ultimately we’d all want to be energetic. And that’s not a bad thing. We all want to feel energy and how everything goes back to wanting to feel that, to wanting to feel energetic, to the point that we can feel more compassion for ourselves, for wanting to be around other people, for wanting to be famous, wants to be validated and have their opinion respected and to prove themselves.
All of those things may be not a healthy desire in effort to feel energy and to feel love but understandable and something to work with. It gives something to work with. It gives you the why of why you do things. And that’s important because as entrepreneurs and growing entrepreneurs, and I have a friend here, Oh, just in case, I went out and got friends after that T-Mobile conversation solved all my problems. Rejection. MMMM who says — who doesn’t love you more than a dog —- he’s just visiting today. Okay. So just, if the camera moves, it’s my friend on the desk.
Okay. So the point is, is that being an entrepreneur, going through the lean process, the like a lean startup to have a process, which is what we are doing as entrepreneurs in some way of developing products and even if we’re surrounded by staff but somehow have to be in a more isolated situation so we can focus and think, it can be very lonely, draining and we can lose our energy.
And that’s the worst thing because we may not reach it to the end before we give up. So that’s why it’s important for us to implement some aspects of this formula that has helped me and I’m still learning. So everything I teach is stuff I’ve learned, but it doesn’t mean it’s stuff I’ve mastered. Let me tell you, I still fall on the floor and I still am delighted when I talk to a really nice customer service person. So I call it the Oshita Energy Formula. And we’re going to start off with the most, most, most, most, most important thing, which is attention.
I can’t express enough how, when, what I want to do on. So I can’t express enough how the most important thing that we want is attention. Attention is what moves mountains. It’s what changes our lives. It’s what gives us energy. And I’ll share how it really is a root of everything. I don’t — when I — what– how I came across this formula is from years of dealing with depression feeling isolated. Maybe you could call it low self confidence — anxiety. So there’s a lot of shit that happened and that other people have experienced. I’m not the only one. And I, it started at a very young age. I just didn’t feel good. And, but at the same time I had this strong amount of energy and, and motivation to create and become an entrepreneur. But I struggled with this, that I wondered what the purpose of life was.
So after growing up with this, maybe from elementary school, of feeling sad and scared and I enter intermediate school into high school, not having a ton of friends maybe a theme. And then going into college I started to realize that there was no hope. And maybe that’s a very sad thing to say, but it turned out I ended up finding like a Zen meditation practice that helped me so much to, to, to find that there was an inner peace inside of all of us. No matter what you’ve been dealing with.
There is that inner peace that can guide us, that will help us see the truth and help us know that no matter what, in this very moment, we are okay in this very moment. Everything is okay. But it also taught me that the thoughts that we have are not us.
So when I’m lying on the floor, just like, just, just miserable, like crying. The thoughts I’m having doesn’t mean that’s true. I mean, it’s, it’s a mood. It’s going through me. There might be some truth to a few things, but the whole idea of what’s going through my head is not necessarily true and in a way they’re not even mine, which is what’s crazy.
So how does this bring back to attention? So the biggest thing is, is that what I learned is, is besides the fact that our thoughts may not be us, in addition, we don’t have to be upset with ourselves that we have those thoughts.
So that’s big. I mean, how often do we have a thought? And if I go to a new gym and I feel insecure, I notice I have a lot of critical thoughts about other people cause I’m insecure and I feel incredibly embarrassed that I even have those thoughts. I’m a grown woman. I should not be insecure and critical like that I think. But I realized, you know, those aren’t even my thoughts. Those, those are just like chaos going in my brain. And I’m, my, my self is right here in my core.
So what I learned from that is how can I turn away from the thoughts that I know are not me that I don’t believe in and I don’t like, I don’t go along with those thoughts. And that’s through attention.
I can be, I can put my attention where my thoughts are and in a sense give them validation. Or I can put my attention inside my body, inside my breath, inside my movement. I can have my attention, stay with my body, stay with my movement — And that is attention. And that’s the power of it is that the moment I put my attention in my body and I redirect it, I can change how I feel. I can change what’s happening. I can create energy. And the reason why that’s so amazing is that we can have thoughts and we don’t have to control our thoughts because we can’t, we cannot necessarily control our thoughts. We can give ourselves another thought, but we can’t just control it and say, I’m never going to think about that or not. Don’t think about white polar bear cause you’re gonna think about white polar bear. (Getting kind of warm in here. Let me first turn the fan on, don’t think I can the audio would suck.).
So the point is, is that attention, it’s something that you can direct. I wouldn’t say you can control it, but something you can direct and it’s very challenging. But with practice you can slowly direct it and redirect it to where you want it to be.
So with that being said, that in a sense, I wouldn’t want to say the whole thing starts with a sense of better control, but it starts with the truth. The truth is we can’t control our thoughts. We can’t just say, someone says, “just don’t feel like that”. “Just don’t feel sad.” “Just don’t think that.” That is impossible. Okay? But what you can do is you can put your attention to redirecting your thoughts to something different. Following your breath, focusing on another project, consciously putting an effort to think about a different thought, but you may not be able to control your whole thought process or your stream of thoughts.
So attention is really important because you can direct it and where you put your attention, redirect it, redirect it because you’re not always going to be like, okay, that’s it. I’m always going to just pay attention to my breath or I’m always going to just pay attention to reading. Your mind will wander. But what you do is you just redirect it right back to your path. And that process is the process of meditation and that is a process of skillful awareness and that does make us a stronger person.
So there’s, there’s someone, there’s someone doing some work back there. —
So with that being said, and we’ll talk more about intention as entrepreneurs, we need to be extremely conscious about where our thoughts are going, asking ourselves if that’s a true thought and bringing our attention back to our breath and our body. And therefore our vision, our our vision, our things to-do list, our positive affirmations because that’s what helps us stay energized and focused.
So that was a pretty in depth talk about attention. It’s just that it’s so important and it’s the core of your, your energy that I felt like it is important start off with that.
The next item is so attention is, okay. So now we’re going to go back to, we’re going to pull this over
Is love. So that’s nice.
So attention is ultimately love.
Okay. So attention is ultimately love. So whenever somebody says, “you know, I just don’t feel like you’re loving me enough” or “I would like more love”. What it is, what they want is most likely is you’re going to be giving them more attention and attention can be in a lot of different forms.
I remember there’s a book called The Five Languages of Love. And what was interesting about that is it seemed like these languages are completely in different ways, completely different. But actually when we think about all the diff, those five different ways that they listen, this book that’s, let’s think about them. One is language of presence. One is one on one attention — time together — I say attention. One is positive compliments. Another is physical touch. And I don’t remember what the other one.
But if you look at it, the theme and all of them is that you’ve given that person time and space in your attention in your brain, whether you had to think of that person to, to buy them the present. If you’re physically touching them, then you’re definitely attentive to them. And if you’re talking to them, you’re attentive. If your spending time together, you’re attentive.
So everything in anything where it relates to being a sense of love, it’s because you gave them your attention. And the reason why that’s important is because then we can think about the depth of attention and therefore the depth that love is felt.
So if we feel like someone is, we’re with someone and they’re there and they see us, we’re having dinner with them but we just don’t really feel loved, then what, what’s happening? They’re there.
Well, let’s start off with attention. Are they giving us 100% of their attention or are they looking at their phone? Then their attention is not 100% there. And that’s important. You know, do they listen and then randomly like get distracted by a thought or and say like change subject and to in a sense that they all of a sudden forgot about what you were saying, then that’s another form, then that’s not a continuous attention.
So you’re talking, but then they’re constantly getting distracted. Another one is, is non-judgment. So basically they’re giving you all of their attention and they’re not bringing their attention back to themselves and thinking, what do I think of that? Well, I think that she should do this instead. All right. Well, I mean, there is, you can do it in a loving way. But if instead you sense a person’s just kind of thinking what they think about you, then you don’t feel loved. You feel judged and criticized and not really safe.
So the type of attention really creates a type of love that you feel are the extent of the love that you feel. And basically if you, if we ever encounter a situation where we need to show the person we’re love and they’re asking for more love, we just have to ask, how can we show more attention?
And that relates back to business entrepreneurship in another way. We’ll go into, but let’s, let’s start with here. Okay. So let’s go back to, okay. So energy is what you get. When you put attention and love together, it creates energy. In fact, attention creates energy in itself because attention is love. So love creates energy.
You know, it’s, it’s interesting how when we pay attention to something, all of a sudden it has new energy. Whether it’s a project and we’re finally paying attention to, all of a sudden it starts to actually come back to life. Or there’s somebody in the department and maybe you finally sit down and you talk to them. And all of a sudden now there’s getting back to work. Or it comes back to ourselves in our physical cells. If, if we just feel like low energy. But we start to breathe into our body and we start to really listen. And, and be thoughtful about how our body experiences this moment, you’ll notice you will feel more energetic, light, a lighter, happier.
So bringing our attention and therefore a love to something brings that energy. And a way we can look at this that we talked about in business and starting a business is that we have to find a way to keep bringing intention to the positive things like our vision. So we can give it energy and we need to end the things that we’re procrastinated about, but that we really have to do. But it’s hard to do because we were so little entrepreneurs, let’s say. So we definitely have to give it attention whether or not we feel like we’re going to be productive. Sometimes you just have to go and give it attention. Just read it and just know that that in itself will produce energy towards a project.
Okay, so next is, Oh, I forgot to put this. So we talked about energy and peace. So now we’ll talk about rhythm and it’s really rhythm and peace here. Okay.
So the thing about energy is that as you move together, maybe you work with other people or you find a rhythm within your own self, you’ll notice that you’re just going to start to feel, I think I was supposed to bring this up here. You’re going to start to feel this rhythm and it feels peaceful. And I remember dancing in zumba class and just, it was this one of these fast songs. I think there’s something with peanut butter and then we had to like right, left, right, left, right, left, right, left. But everyone was going right, left, right, left, right, left. And I just saw it and it was just happening and happening. And I just felt like times slowed and I just felt so connected with everyone without, without one word, without one word, talking to them, knowing them, I just felt so connected and happy to be there with them and sharing that, that moment of rhythm together. So that rhythm created, it’s just, just this surge of happiness inside of me. And subsequently that rhythm and that peace also created connection.
So my synchronization with them made me feel so connected. And it’s ironic because we imagine connection purely in a way of maybe talking to people, but there’s, you can have a connection with someone without even talking. And so that brings up to the question what is connection? And it’s a sense of having a rhythm and having that person confirm, having attention to your energy and then you confirming that you see that you have attention to their energy. So that back and forth creates an immense strong connection and the more attention and synchronization there is and that sort of building of trust because you know what they’re going to do. That creates a connection.
And with that connection — this is the big part and this is the big part, and we’ll talk more about case studies of this in our life and our business, but the big park is that when you have a strong connection with someone or people you will naturally, so you’ll naturally want to give.
And giving is, it’s just so important, so powerful. But I think giving is scary. I don’t think we could ever, part of us could never feel the immense energy that surges through our body when we just feel like we’re giving, we’re not holding anything back and our energy is flowing to somebody else in a positive way. And I think the question is, is how can so many negative things happen in the world if this is true? If, if these, everyone really wants to feel energy in these things create the most amount of energy. And I think it’s because people don’t know about these sequences that they ultimately want energy and that they can actually feel more positive happiness by creating the energy through a connection and giving. Lots of times instead, I think we want a lot of this, but with it comes a lot of vulnerability. Because when you give attention to something, anything, whether it’s revision or relationships, you’re giving yourself your attention is you, and there’s so much vulnerability and that’s what you have. That’s everything that you have in that on say everything.
But imagine if you, from the very beginning, if you give your attention, you’re being slightly vulnerable and as you give more and more of your attention, as you go through these patterns of energy and you get connected for more and more and more giving of all your attention, you’re more and more vulnerable. And it’s a, it’s a vulnerable way. It’s a vulnerable way to feel energy, but it’s the most powerful way. I think that what we, a lot of the, onto the bad people. Okay. And then by the people who have been very misguided have found that they can feel connection, but without, with, with, with a sense of someone giving, but in a very halfway so that it’s not everything so that they don’t feel like they’re really vulnerable. And so they feel like they’re able to do all of this without being, you know, screwed over, in fact there have upper hand and they have the power.
So, but truly going all the way and feeling that immense power and energy of giving without expectation back is very vulnerable. So, so I think that’s why, but I think if we kind of do a lot of introspection and we ask ourselves what we really want, I think we would end up coming back to really wanting to feel energy and wanting to be impactful in the world in this way versus the bad person way, which is to kind of gain power and money and wealth only without any vulnerability. And without that strong connection. Because if you, if we feel that strong connection, and I think we can all agree for the most part is that when we feel that really, really, really strong connection of happiness, all we really want to do is give. It gives us joy to give openly and freely.
And it’s wonderful. I mean, I will, that’s, that is one of the reasons why I want to be a very successful entrepreneur is so that I can connect. And when I’m like vibing, vibing, vibing with, you know, the people and I go to, I meet someone and I’m like, Oh my God, I want you to do this. I want to be able to go, I want to be someone who can give. So I, you know, I want to, besides having resources in my head, you know, whether it’s connections or financial resources I want to give to the world. And so I hope I get to do that as much as I, as I desired to one day. And maybe you feel the same way.
So that’s the six energy sources and I’m so happy that I got to share them with you. So I want us to all think about it and think through how can we make sure to tap into each of these energy sources so we stay energized. Your entrepreneurial journey.
All right, so this is Kristy.
And in the next podcast or probably the next one. I’m, I’m winging it here. We’re going to talk more about how to maintain our energy as we start to do the lean startup or basically do a startup, of course, try to stay lean and figuring out a product development, trying to keep costs low and it can be a very trying time. So how do we start our business without losing energy?